Our Surrogate Story

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The princess was born December 22nd!

2010-12-29T16:35:00.000-08:00

The most beautiful creature on this earth has finally made her appearance and has already wrapped her daddy and me around her finger. We are so beyond blessed and we are so very thankful to our surrogate, Rachele, for everything she has given us. My world is complete. My dreams have come true. I am so happy that no words can truly describe it. I find myself looking at her in disbelief and bursting into tears sporadically with the utmost love and happiness in my heart. And without further ado, here she is, weighing a delicate 7 pounds and 3 ounces at only 20.4 inches long. My daughter, my world, the one who makes my heart feel like it will explode. The one that makes me fall ever so much deeper in love with her father every time I see them together. Let the show of love begin.......

Love at first sight

Tears of JOY!!

Daddy's already wrapped around her finger

Big Brother

I finally found my soul, for all you Dragonfly movie fans you know exactly what I am talking about

Just one more because she is beautiful

What did you get in your stocking this Christmas?!

We are alomst there....

2010-12-05T16:23:00.000-08:00

Scary weekend, Rachele had contractions for two days, was in and out labor and delivery, and finally got fluids Saturday night, which helped tremendously. She still has no voice, but the contractions are better. I hope she is able to kick the sickies soon so she will start feeling great again. The pregnancy has been great for her up to this point and I so want her to feel better. I worry about her all the time. It is so hard being far away where I can't see her and lend a helping hand.

We are now just a day or so from 36 weeks so we are in the home stretch. Baby Sibylla is very active and gets hiccups all the time. We are all so anxious to meet her. I just can't wait to look my darling child in the eyes. I dream of her every. single. night. I can't wait to see how far off my dreams are and how she looks.

Daddy and mommy can't wait to meet our little girl. We anxiously anticipate your arrival!

32 Weeks!

2010-11-08T05:01:00.000-08:00

I have been such a bad blogger! Seems most my time is spent preparing for the baby. I am so excited. We had my baby shower and got lots of great stuff for her. We have decided on a name. Sibylla Gail.

The baby is doing great. We are anxious and waiting to see if the OB will induce before Christmas. We will be full term December 14th.

I hope everyone is doing well and all your baby dreams are coming true!

Drumroll please..........

2010-08-26T17:18:00.000-07:00

It's a GIRL!!!!!!!!!

21 weeks....
Your baby could measure about 10 inches from head to toe and weighs about three-quarters of a pound. The eyebrows and eyelids are fully developed and the fingernails cover the fingertips. Babies are more active at this stage, as they still have lots of room to move around. You’ll feel a lot more movement from your little one. You may want to start preparing for your baby's birth, by getting supplies together a little at a time.

15 Weeks and Everything is great!!

2010-07-13T16:06:00.000-07:00

So excited with the great news today. Baby's heart rate is 153 and everything is good so far.

How your baby's growing:

Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. Finally, if you have an ultrasound this week, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or a girl! (Don't be too disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down your baby's sex depends on the clarity of the picture and on your baby's position. He or she may be modestly curled up or turned in such a way as to "hide the goods.")

The last week of the first trimester, 12 weeks

2010-06-26T07:16:00.000-07:00

How your baby's growing:

The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.

Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce.

We had a recent in-office u/s and the baby looks great, he or she was flipping around and very active. We are chugging along and I am starting to get excited about the nursery.

I want to shout out to Megan, who is in India right now, getting ready to meet her baby, congrats to you and Bob, it has been a long time coming and I am so happy for you. Enjoy your new baby when he/she gets here mum and dad!!!

Our Pregancy Update~Week 9

2010-05-29T07:10:00.000-07:00

How your baby's growing:

Your new resident is nearly an inch long — about the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce. She's starting to look more and more human. Her essential body parts are accounted for, though they'll go through plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months. Other changes abound: Your baby's heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form — as do her tiny teeth. The embryonic "tail" is completely gone. Your baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear. The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks. Her eyes are fully formed, but her eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks. She has tiny earlobes, and her mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The placenta is developed enough now to take over most of the critical job of producing hormones. Now that your baby's basic physiology is in place, she's poised for rapid weight gain.

We had our first u/s a couple weeks ago, the baby's heart rate was 138, everything looks great so far. They saw a shadowy area that could be a second sac, but we won't know until the next u/s for sure, but we are going with one. Rachele is feeling fine, just really tired. We are praying for a healthy and uneventful pregnancy. We already have a ton of baby girl clothes purchased, guess I will be stocked up for showers if we have a little boy...lol. We are so excited and scared at the same time. I can't wait for Christmas to get here!

Our News

2010-04-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

So I was going to wait a bit to make the announcement due to our loss in March, but since Brett can't keep in the good news I thought I would go ahead and share too.

We are pregnant! We found out Friday and although Brett and I discussed waiting to tell everyone, he already told his dad and a few others. So the news is out.

The last pregnancy was lost due to triploidy. That is where two sperm enter the egg and give an extra set of chromosomes to the baby. The very first warning sign was the extremely high beta and only one baby. It is very rare and is not common and we really don't have to worry as it is not likely to ever happen twice to the same person. It is still hard not to worry though.

We are so happy and can't believe how lucky we are for this to have worked so fast again. We are looking forward to a very uneventful and boring pregnancy.

I am predicting a Christmas baby, wouldn't that be the greatest Christmas gift in the whole wide world!!!!

Good luck to all my friends trying for their BFP's, I pray this cycle is your cycle too!!!!

New Beginnings

2010-04-15T16:04:00.000-07:00

I write this in disbelief and with great enthusiasm. We have made another attempt and are in the 2WW once more. I can't believe we are starting from scratch yet again, but I am so very grateful I have another chance of becoming a mother.

Congrats to two of my friends who have their babies home, I can remember back when I volunteered to be an egg donor for them if they should need it, and now their babies are 2 months old.

It is very hard for me to blog right now, I have several people, whom I am very happy for by the way, that are the same progress into their pregnancies as I would have been and it is tough to read about it all right now. I have just not healed enough yet. I need to get back to my crocheting, but it is just so darn hard to look at that stuff right now. Soon, hopefully soon.

For everyone of my friends that are still chugging along with their pregnancies, I am so happy for you guys and I just can't wait to hear about baby pickups and see pictures, sorry I have been distant, I just need time.

Spring Has Sprung!!

2010-03-18T08:08:00.000-07:00

It is so pretty outside today. There are hundreds of frogs chirping in the back yard....my goldfish are spawning and soon there will be lots and lots of tiny fish in my pond.

I am still sick, I have been sick since my return from Tennessee. I suppose it was due to being so upset and my immune system taking a hit from that, I have been put on 2 more antibiotics and am hoping that it will make me feel better, if not I will probably end up in the hospital.

I am looking forward to Spring and Summer, a time of fresh starts and new life. Rosie is doing well, I will be going soon to start riding her, if I ever start feeling better. I look forward to rides through the mountains.

We are installing our flooring soon, yay for that. Slate tile in the kitchen and some really pretty bruce hardwood for the rest of the house. I hope everyone is doing well and hopefully I will do better about posting.

Had the 4D Ultrasound Today

2010-02-23T14:23:00.000-08:00

We were very excited to discover the gender of our baby today and watch her wave and stretch and kick, instead we found a little girl with no heartbeat. The baby stopped growth somewhere between 12-14 weeks. We are devastated. I type this through my tears. I am so very heart broken and sad and feel so bad that I was not there by my surrogates side. We were watching over the computer. All I can say at this point is I love her very much, I love my little girl and we have to figure out what we do next. I am waiting to hear back from her about what the doctor says. I am just so beyond sad right now.

She has already said we will try again as soon as we can. I love her so much!

Just a quick update!

2010-01-20T09:21:00.000-08:00

Baby's heart beat was 144. They couldn't get it with the doppler so they did a portable u/s in the office today. One baby! One beautiful healthy baby. Everything is going great and next appointment is in March. August here we come.

Rosie is off to boarding school.....

2010-01-18T08:38:00.000-08:00

I am sending Rosie off to Honeysuckle Farms to be trained. She will go through 1 to 2 months of basic training, then I will go three times a week for them to train us together. They say they will teach her to ride even without a bridle, I can't wait to ride her on our trails over our property. I am super excited.

Results are inconclusive!

2010-01-17T08:49:00.001-08:00

We have to wait to talk to the doctor, the u/s tech wouldn't disclose any info, but we seen one beautiful baby with heart beating away. We asked her about multiples and she simply ignored us. This is an army base so they give you information on a need to know basis. The ob follow-up is Wednesday, we have to wait for heart rate, due date and and baby size until then, we also have to wait to talk about the possibility of multiples with them. The tech simply didn't acknowledge our request to check for multiple babies. We both thought we saw two heads in there. It was very brief, so we are going to get a second u/s elsewhere, a 3D as soon as possible. Here are the only 2 shots they gave us, but she is beautiful, isn't she!

The News is.....

2010-01-11T11:00:00.000-08:00

We are not getting an u/s until Saturday. So guess we will all have to wait together. They did a simple intake today, not even a doppler. January 20th is the next ob visit. Just a few more days ain't that bad.

He just couldn't resist!

2010-01-09T06:44:00.000-08:00

So I know I said I was going to wait to start buying things for the baby(ies), but I guess Brett didn't get the memo. He went yesterday to buy a new pair of work boots and couldn't resist the temptation and bought our first baby purchase.....do you think she will be a little tom boy? Can you tell we want a girl, although we will be happy with either or both, as long as they are healthy! I am so excited for Monday to get here.

I ordered one of those baby gender predictor tests, Rachele should get it Monday, we will see how accurate it is, it was on the money for her first surrogacy.

The Sheer Excitement!

2010-01-07T13:15:00.000-08:00

Well I went to Wally World today and for the first time I was able to go into the baby section without utter horror. Normally just a breeze by the baby stuff and I am in tears. The only time I really dare go into the baby stuff is to buy gifts for everyone else year after year. A quick trip in and a quick trip out.

Today I found myself getting lost in the stuff, all the different little things you can get. My heart was just pounding away, it felt like it was coming out of my chest. It actually skipped a couple beats enough to make me cough. It was so amazing and exciting. I cannot wait to find out how many and see the heartbeats so the worry will go away. I want to start shopping!!!! Today it felt REAL to me. I am going to be a mommy.....

I am just so happy, so happy. Life is good Today!!!

Hurry Up and Wait!

2010-01-07T06:56:00.000-08:00

Isn't this the way of the world?

I am so anxious for Monday, our ob appointment, hopefully an ultrasound so we can find out how many babies are coming. So nervous, happy and scared. I hope the weekend goes by fast!

Can't wait to hear the babe's heartbeat(s) at least. Have I said lately that I can't wait to meet my babies! Going to go shopping as soon as I find out how many we are having.

Happy New Year!

2009-12-31T17:21:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone, and may this year be filled with health, adventure, love and dreams come true!

This time next year, I will be holding my baby or babies, it will be their first Christmas and New Year, and I am still in shock. I can't believe it is really happening for me, finally. It is just so surreal. Just like some of you reading this, following along, I too thought it would never happen. Hang in there......2010 could just possibly be YOUR year!

I hope this year brings all your wishes to you and fills your hearts with laughter, love and peace.

Tonight as the clock strikes 12, I will be holding the one I love in my arms, next year we will be holding our babies together!!! Thank you Rachele....Happy New Year to you and yours.

Beta is in.....

2009-12-15T14:28:00.000-08:00

At 30dp our beta is 35, 282. The clinic says this means she is either 8 weeks or more pregnant, which we know she is not, she is exactly 6 weeks, or she is carrying at least twins!!!!! Wooo to the hooo! Doubly blessed, I sure hope. Ultrasound is next month, the earliest we could get an appointment. If you check the charts it could go 3 ways, extremely high for singleton, high for twins or in the low to median for triplets! We shall have to wait and see. I am so darn excited, I can't hardly stand myself....lol.

It's the final countdown!!

2009-12-04T10:13:00.000-08:00

Haha. Thought that song lyric was appropriate. I can't believe I am in the countdown, less than 8 months to go. I have to start thinking about a nursery....A NURSERY!!!! OMG, I just can't believe it. Rachele is starting to feel pregnant....which is fantastic, but I feel bad when she feels bad, so hopefully it won't get too awful for her. No morning sickness yet. I am awaiting our chat today. She is calling me when she has some free time this evening. We haven't scheduled the first appointment yet, we are treating this like any other normal pregnancy, we don't want all the extra tests and things. I am not going to worry myself sick, there is no reason to. Most pregnancies go off without a hitch and that is how I am going to keep thinking until I have a reason to think otherwise. We are gonna try to plan the first U/S for January after the holidays so hopefully I will be able to go to her and be there. I am so excited. I am anxious to see how many beans are in there...........

The day after.....

2009-11-25T12:10:00.000-08:00

Well today I am in shock. Is this really real? I can't believe I am going to be a mommy. Finally, after so long. I know how so many of you know exactly what I am talking about and many of you, thanks to surrogacy are looking at it from the "we've got the babies with us now, oh boy" side too and know exactly how it "used" to feel when you got the first news. How long does it take for it to really be real? I sit here writing and start to cry. I just can't believe it, because I truly had given in to the belief that maybe it just wasn't in the cards for me. I didn't give up though, even though I thought I would many many times, and now, in 9 months.....I am going to be a mother. I feel like I am dreaming. It just proves that old saying right, never give up on your dreams, only then will they not happen.

Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-24T10:49:00.000-08:00

The Best Freakin' Birthday present I have ever gotten in my entire life! Tickets to the Raschall Flatts Concert......hehe NOT

Staying Busy......trying not to dwell.

2009-11-21T07:44:00.000-08:00

So my husband had his last day in court over his son yesterday, things went well for him. He wants custody so not as well as we would like, but it seems mental abuse and not obeying the court's order for 6 years isn't enough to give the father custody. Anyway, she does know that things are serious now and she better obey the court order. He also got 3 weekends a month which is great for around here. He gets 2 weeks in the summer with her 1 and him 2 rotating until summer break is over. So that is great. He has more visitation than he ever has, the thing is, she doesn't obey the order. I do think though, with this judge, there will be consequences if she doesn't. Football season is over now and I just finished my s-son's football pictures, here is one I am so proud of, I think it turned out great.

I have been doing alot of stuff, digging out all my Christmas decorations....I love to decorate, but I hate the feeling of obligation that comes with Christmas anymore. I hate shopping, and we really can't afford to spend the thousands that we usually do, when we get everyone in the family and distant family gifts. It just isn't fun when you stress about the money.....I know, scrooge, this year anyway. We just realistically can't afford it. We have so much left to do on the house, business isn't great, I don't work anymore, and we have a big responsibility with the surrogacy. So I wish we could just all get together, eat and enjoy one another, I prefer not to exchange gifts. That's just me.

So the countdown is about 3 to 4 days away until we can test. It will still be early, but I know it will happen as we both are poas addicts.....lol. I am wishing for the best gift ever for my birthday, a BFP!!

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Here we go again!!! Officially in the 2WW!

2009-11-16T11:20:00.001-08:00

Please, Please, Please.........let this be our month. We will be testing around the 27th, which is my birthday....if we can hold out that long. Praying to see that BFP!

Just a simple request.....

2009-11-08T06:19:00.000-08:00

Lord,please let this be our month!!

Well.......

2009-11-01T14:34:00.000-08:00

We got a negative, so on to November. I am not discouraged and I am not sad. Of course I wish this would have worked the first time, but I know it will work soon. So in about two short weeks we try again.....will it be my birthday surprise? I hope so.

INpatiently waiting for our BFP!

2009-10-22T09:50:00.000-07:00

The suspense is killing me, so much more so than when it was me, my failing body, my disappointing uterus! This is the time that there really are hopes and possibilities. Even through all the waiting, my stress and anxiety about baby making is over. I have found my salvation, the "answer" I have been praying for these some 15 years. I have an inner peace that I have not had for so long. I have my surromom to thank, she is my angel.

For many years now, I have lost all faith, I had given up on prayer and believing that there was a higher being that would make it all better. After all, I had prayed for years and never got an answer, until now. I feel that my name must finally have reached the top of the list and all the stress, hurt, and anxiety has left me in one fell swoop. I have no doubts that next year I am gonna be a mommy, maybe not this month, but it is going to happen soon. That is fantastic.

Everything in my life has changed. Brett and I are so happy. We are laughing and enjoying each other the time we have left as a single couple. This must be how it feels for someone with no difficulties achieving a pregnancy. I love my surromom for letting me live this vicariously through her, she is amazing! What kind of special heart must she have, to do something so selfless? One that not many have on this earth. The heart of an angel. Giving the gift of life. Giving me my baby.

Over The Top Award!

2009-10-17T06:11:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Jessica over at The Life of Mommy for giving me my FIRST award!

This is the Over the Top Award:
The Rules of this award are:

Answer the questions below with only ONE word:
Thank the person that gave you this award OVER AND OVER AND OVER again (thanks Jessica!!!):
Then pick your 6 favorite bloggers.

Here are the answers:

1. Where is your phone:
purse

2.Your Hair:
down

3. Your Mother:
special

4. Your Father:
missed

5. Favorite Food:
sushi

6.Your dream last night:
none

7. Favorite Drinks:
coke

8. Your dreams:
unfolding

9. What room are you in?
bedroom

10. Your Hobby:
art

11.Your Fear:
dependency

12.Where do you want to be in six years?
mommy

13.Where were you last night?
bed

14. Something you are not
timid

15. Muffins:
blueberry

16. Wish List Item:
baby

17.Where did you grow up?
WV

18. Last thing you did?
blogged

19.What are you wearing?
jammies

20. Your TV:
noise

21. your Pets?
Farm

22.Your friends:
ggrrrreeeaaaattttt

23. Your life:
amazing

24.Your Mood:
elated

25. Missing Someone:
Cory

26.Vehicle:
Truck

27.Something you are not wearing:
socks

28. Your favorite store:
Buckle

29. Favorite Color:
Orange

30. When was the last time you laughed?
now

31. Last time you cried?
Tuesday

32.Your Best Friend?
hubby

33. One place you go over and over?
barn

34.One person that emails you?
Rachele

35. Favorite place to eat?
Habachi's

My CF Pregnancy Journey

Journey Of A Lifetime

Amani and Bob's Indian Surrogacy

When Two Becomes Three

The Third Wheel

Infertile Myrtle

Officially in the 2ww!

2009-10-14T09:27:00.000-07:00

We are now entering our 2ww. Our surrogate is wonderful and so sweet. We are alike in so many ways. I enjoyed meeting her and her family. We will test November 1st. I am so excited but I am going to try to stay busy with painting and working around the house so I don't drive myself nuts. If it doesn't work the first try we will try again in November. We are hoping for July 2010 babies!! Woo hoo!

Very Happy and Anxious!

2009-10-10T06:45:00.000-07:00

I have never felt such anxiousness in my life. We have decided to go ahead with the insems on Columbus day when we meet up to do all the legal stuff. Soooo, my surro's cycle is falling perfectly when we were supposed to meet..is it fate? She started the femara this week and is almost finished. We will soon be in the 2ww. I am so excited my heart skips beats and I have butterflies in my stomach. This is the first time in years that I know I am going to have a baby. She is a proven surrogate and the procedure worked the first try on her last surrogacy. I am so happy to have met my real life angel. It is amazing what hope can do for one's spirits. Good luck to everyone on their journeys right now, and babdy dust to all!!

Day 3 in Club Med

2009-10-03T22:14:00.001-07:00

Even though I am currently in the hospital, I have received absolutely the best news ever. We have contracted with a wonderful compassionate surrogate. She is beautiful both inside and out, she is a proven surrogate, and I have total faith in her and I know that by this time next year, I finally will be a mother. I am so excited about getting nursery stuff ready, painting and getting furniture. I am kinda in shock, but taking it all in. We are meeting Columbus day to go over specifics, but we definitely have a plan in place...and Brett and I are both so happy!! We will take pics and post them up here soon!!!Good luck to all!!

Made in the USA!!!

2009-10-03T09:35:00.000-07:00

Here is a post from my surrogate's blog, I have been in the hospital and just read it this morning. I have been waiting to share with everyone because I wanted to make sure everything was definite. I am so happy words can't describe!! She posted this on myspace yesterday.

The cat is out of the bag!

Meet my new IP's:

Rebecca and Brett Brumfield. A wonderful, adoring couple fron Harts, WV. They're active, funloving, and just great to be around. I know they will be excellent parents. We'll be meeting up in person for columbus day weekend in Lexington, so I'll be sure to post pics. We are hoping to get preggo before the end of 2009! Hence the new "coming soon" blinkie that you may (or may not ) have seen on my page.

the brumfields

Update Pics

2009-09-19T13:08:00.000-07:00

Here are the pics of the house and pond I have been promising to update with, also my new puppy my wonderful prince charming got for me to ease my broken heart. With everyday that passes there are new hopes!!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I Officially Give Up!

2009-08-30T07:16:00.000-07:00

Although I did three hpt's and got faint positives I have been waiting to post, I started spotting yesterday and hoped it was just implantation bleeding, but nope, it is AF. So now what? I cannot go through another cycle with the drugs. I am a mess, my lungs are junky, I know it is from my yorkie dying also, but I just can't do this anymore. I have someone offering surrogate services so I guess I will try to go that route. I just have to get the money together for everything. I am just emotionally exhausted. Good luck to everyone else trying...I hope to read good news soon.

DEVESTATING NEWS

2009-08-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

I lost my beautiful yorkie, Cory, that is pictured with me on my blog this morning. He fell from my second floor balcony yesterday evening and has had a long hard battle all night and today. He was finally put out of his suffering as he has severe brain trauma and nothing could be done but end his pain. He has a brain cord injury. This was my baby, the closest thing I have to one and I am absolutely devestated. I am typing this with tears pouring down my cheeks as I simply am lost without him. I just need to share my grief with someone as I know alot of us childless couples have pets the closest possible thing to our children....so I have taken a zanex and I am going to try and go to sleep for now to stop all the crying.

The News about my Eggs!!

2009-08-20T16:43:00.000-07:00

Well I responded well to the low dose of Follistem. I ended up with 3 follicles that were the dominant. They were 24mm, 22mm, and 19mm. I had about 3 more at 17mm, and a couple 15 that we really weren't concerned about. We know the three will definitely be good producers, but the 17's may not, however, people can get pregnant with 17mm and even 15mm follicles. So the theory that my ovaries aren't working and that I have no ovarian reserve is absurd. My RE's words. I have let that garbage bother me for so long and have been worried. He told me to stop worrying about what happened in India because that simply isn't the case. Now that I am seeing so many other people's horror stories, I don't feel so bad knowing our time there didn't go so well either. My doc was very pleased and we are hoping this is it....however as we all know going through this that you just don't know until delivery day!!! Now the dreaded 2ww!!!

And the plan is....

2009-08-16T10:06:00.001-07:00

Well had my last ultrasound this morning. I have one 19mm, one 18mm, one 17mm, and two 16mm follicles. He thinks only the three biggest ones will rupture with a mature egg, so he is very happy with my response. We did Follistem only, no other drugs, 140u to start and then bumped up to 150u. I will do one more injection tonight, trigger tomorrow night, then IUI on Wednesday morning at 9am. I am very excited and optimistic as he was so very much so. He says the injections work in a different way and actually produce a better quality egg than the femera and clomid, so here is to hope and wishful thinking!

3 day Ultrasound

2009-08-13T09:24:00.000-07:00

I had my 3 day ultrasound on injectables. I have 3 very large follicles and 3 that are trailing closely. I have 3 more days to go before my next ultrasound. I was kinda disappointed but he was aiming for this number. He said he doesn't want a mess like John & Kate and the octomom, who all did injectables with IUI. It is alot higher chances of multiples because they are not controlling the number of eggs in there. On other notes, I have been riding Rosie now, still working all the beanies and Meg's blanket that I know I should already have to her, plus working on the house. The foster/adopt worker came for our home visit on Tuesday and she says she is ready to fill up the house with kiddos, to just let her know when we are ready. I am no where near ready. I have to find a crib, I have lots of clothes though. Everyone has gotten me lots of baby clothes. Guess that is easy. It is the big things I have to get. There are a couple ladies getting ready to give birth and there babies are gonna be taken so they could be placed with us. That is kinda exciting. I am also working on my pond, it has 16 goldfish now, but I still have tons of rocks to collect and stack around it before winter. Whoo, I have too many irons in the fire...lol.

Baseline Ultrasound Today

2009-08-09T16:31:00.000-07:00

Well had my baseline ultrasound today, I have 7 eggs on one side and 8 on the other. How many will develop into mature eggs, who knows, but I am above average for my age, woohoo! Five of my eggs are already pretty good size, alittle larger than the average, but he said that just means I am producing my hormones very well on my own and that I will respond very well to the injectables. He is starting me on around 140IU of follistem, (which is the same as Gonal-F) .They STARTED me, Yes STARTED me off on 900IU from the beginning in India. He thinks that is just insane. He predicts on this dose I will definately have 5 mature eggs, but who knows. I could have alot more, we don't want too many because the odds are very high of having multiples using injectables and IUI. Anyway, I will keep my hopes up, for at least their is hope this month, that maybe, just maybe, I will see those 2 pink lines!! I start my injections tonight at 8pm.

Who Knew?

2009-08-01T12:13:00.000-07:00

The lead singer of Lynyrd Skynyrd has Cystic Fibrosis. I never knew.

The new plan!

2009-07-31T09:12:00.000-07:00

Got a call from my RE today. A patient with a successful pregnancy donated her meds and my doc wants me to have them. So starting on approximately the 9th of August I will start follistem and femara with trigger shot. I hope this works and hope my health holds up.

Long Time Coming....

2009-07-24T05:48:00.000-07:00

I know it has been a long time since posting. Alot has been going on. I have been busy with crochet orders, working on the house, another 2 failed cycles of IUI and trying to break my horse. And oh yeah almost forgot, I am building a goldfish pond. I have been trying to keep myself very busy. I also had my first foster placement but we had to give the kids up because the house is just to unfinished right now to be safe for toddlers. A baby yes, they are pretty stationary, but not toddlers...lol. I am pretty much trying to keep my mind off the baby thing or else lose it altogether and it is something I am rather fond of and would like to hold on to it for as long as possible. So hopefully my next post I want to put on some pics of the progress of everything, I would post pics of the two adorable kids I had for alittle while but we are not allowed to do that....so good luck to everyone on their baby journeys...mine is on hold for now.

The Final Beanie For Natalia

2009-05-07T20:23:00.001-07:00

Here is your 3rd beanie. I hope you like it.

Here is a preview of your baby beanie....

2009-05-06T12:31:00.001-07:00

Congratulations! I just finished it today. I will mail it tomorrow.

My Newest Love!

2009-05-06T08:57:00.000-07:00

Here is my new baby. Rosie. She is so sweet. We basically rescued her. She was very poor and scared when we got her. She hadn't been treated well. She is content now though. She has our land to run free on and LOVES her special treats I bake for her. Quick oats, chopped apples, molasses and brown sugar. She also loves carrots and apples. She is not broken yet, so I am gaining her trust. Hope to ride her by fall.

We have a Winner!!!

2009-05-05T20:25:00.000-07:00

And the winner is Quiver-Full of Love....Please email me at brumfieldx3@yahoo.com with your mailing address so I can send you your prize. Would you like pink or blue?

Contest Continues...Flower from a different angle

2009-05-05T19:30:00.000-07:00

Hope this will help you guys figure it out....

Contest....Win a prize

2009-05-03T18:12:00.000-07:00

The first person to email me with the correct name of this West Virginia wild flower wins a baby beanie....good luck.

A Link I Hope You All Take a Minute To Watch.

2009-04-15T08:38:00.000-07:00

Please spread the word about this trailer and help us educate people about this devastating disease.

Questions about Beanies

2009-04-13T13:56:00.000-07:00

I am getting alot of questions about the beanies. I have a Etsy store link to the right of this post at the very top of my page. Just click the beanie and you'll go to the store. If you don't want the one's in stock, I can make it for you in about a day and have it mailed the next. Go check it out and thanks guys for stopping by.

And the next one.....

2009-04-12T18:32:00.000-07:00

Here is the next one, alittle larger for down the road, when mommy wants to dress that little one year old. I am proud to make these for your baby girl. It makes my heart happy. I hope you like it, I changed this one alittle.

For My Friend Natalia

2009-04-11T16:58:00.000-07:00

Here is a preview of your baby beanie, as you requested, flower crocheted as well. I hope you like it. I also hope and pray you are feeling better.

XOXO
Rebecca

Saying Goodbye

2009-04-07T19:35:00.000-07:00

I have decided that in a week I am going to delete my blog and be done with the stress of it. I started this blog to try and help people going through infertility issues and thinking of doing surrogacy through Rotunda. I also joined Surrogacy India support group to help inform people of some of my feelings about the circumstances regarding how things went for me and my husband. I have been hurt, insulted, called very vicious names and simply misunderstood. It isn't worth the stress. I do enjoy my friends I have met online here and intend to keep up with your blogs and feel free to email me anytime. I hurt so bad to still be the one that watches while all I know have their babies and I still remain childless. So good luck everyone, I wish you all the very best. We are still working with the foster/adopt agency but have to get our house approved before we can get a newborn. I guess if it is meant to be it will happen. I will just stick with loving my nieces and stepson for now, and working on my photography.

Rebecca

Just Walking In Zombie Land Taking It One Day At A Time!

2009-03-11T23:06:00.000-07:00

As I sit here typing this and being so happy for all those I have met over the past year on our journeys for parenthood, I can't help but feel sorry for myself and the others I have been reading tonight that it still hasn't worked for. I just really don't understand why things work the way they do in this world and I probably never will. All I can do is try all I have to make it happen until there is no life left in me to try. If my child were here, would I not do the same? Do whatever ever it takes to give it whatever it needs. I am starting my etsy website but I must get a few more things made before I open it. I am also interviewing with a company on the 30th about working from home with only very infrequent office visits to protect me from all the bad buggies. My hubby is also pursuing a new career, so things are looking promising. Our last few nights at home, (with no plumbing, no walls, no doors, ect.), has been the best nights in months. It is like plugging a battery in to be recharged. Our hearts are being recharged with hope and happiness. I am on my 4th and hopefully last week on IV Vancomycin. It makes me very tired. The Merem doesn't bother me as bad it doesn't seem. I hope that tonight as all my friends and family, and all the ones who aren't yet are laying their heads down happy and content, recharged and ready for many more tomorrows.....good night everyone.

And Yet Another Week!

2009-03-09T19:17:00.000-07:00

Running a low grade temp of 99.9 when I went to the doc this week, I was informed I would get another wonderful week of IV's. It's ok. I am feeling alot better. I needed a cleanout. Lots going on right now. Spending the first night in our house tonight. Even though we only have 2x4 walls. We are so happy. If we can manage just to get the house livable....which means working showers, toilets and kitchen we may be able to get a home equity loan...we are keeping our fingers crossed. Brett is working on getting a great new job working with my brother who makes great money....but he is a lineman/journeyman. Brett has to start at at the bottom, a groundsman, but still better money than he is making now. I am also getting ready to start working from home. I am working with Rehab, they have found me a job doing case management from home. I will only have to go into the office for staff meetings maybe a few times a month. I am psyched about it. It will be tons better than my $900 I make now on disability. It really sucks when you are used to two incomes and suddenly the largest one is gone. It makes everything hard. I miss work also. I really loved my job. This will be different but I think I will like it. I am finished with Amani's beautiful baby Afghan I have been working on for her. She will love it. My husband wants me to make one just like it for our baby when we have one. He hasn't given up yet. We will have one, I am trying to stay positive. If anyone is interested in me making them one or scarfs or anything else, shoot me an email at brumfieldx3@yahoo.com. Thanks for visiting.

One more Week

2009-02-25T10:10:00.000-08:00

One more week of IV's for now. That will make 3 weeks total. I am feeling alot better though. Hopefully this will do me for a year or maybe two if I am lucky. They think the camper is the culprit and I am not allowed back in it. Now I am staying with mom, which of course make us even more anxious to get into the house. Got a call from NECCO, the foster agency yesterday and we will be meeting with the state guy who will be doing our interview and it may be at our house. I told them I was more than happy to give him the tour of the sticks in my house, because there isn't much more than that right now. We will be done by the time we are finished with the process though, as it takes a long time to get the whole process completed, especially when you are doing the foster to adopt option. Thanks to all for checking in on me...talk to you all again soon.

I Am Home

2009-02-12T17:08:00.000-08:00

I arrived home last night. They discharged me at about 7pm. The doc wanted me out as the ER was being bombarded with flu patients and he didn't want me getting the flu or anything else on top of what I already have. My sats are hovering around 94% which isn't bad, but not as good as I usually am. I have my picc line in so I can infuse my iv antibiotics at home. I am on 2 iv's and one inhaled, and one oral. My cultures aren't back yet so they really don't know what is going on in there. It is something I haven't had before, this one is a real butt kicker. I feel terrible. I am still running fevers periodically. When we arrived home last night we had no electricity so had to start my iv's by flashlight until Brett got the generator up and running at mom's. Thank goodness because at this point I can't live without my breathing treatments. The power just came on tonight, at 7pm. I have been instructed by my doctor not to go back into our camper. He suspects I have gotten sick from staying there. So now even more pressure on Brett to get us into the house. Well thanks everyone for all your thoughts and prayers, I am very tired and am gonna go for now.

Yesterday

2009-02-10T18:11:00.001-08:00

Not a good day for me. I struggled thru the weekend and in the hospital lobby on the way to my doc I collapsed and had to be taken to the ER. Yesterday was a long day and I don't think I have ever been so close to death. I feel better today but still feel very bad. They put my picc line in, a special one I can keep for a year. I sure hope I won't need it that long but I am not ready for a port. It was a compromise. I will not be released until my sats are stable and I'm not requiring oxygen. I will try to keep everyone updated.

Goodbye to Another Fellow CFer

2009-02-07T10:25:00.000-08:00

Last night a chat friend, fellow crocheter and fellow cfer has died. Jenn breathe easy and may you now have all that cf has kept from you. Thoughts and prayers to her and her family during this difficult time.

Cycle Cancelled

2009-02-06T13:22:00.000-08:00

I have to cancel my IUI this month. I am to be admitted to the hospital Monday for probably a picc line and sent home with IV's. I have been sick but it has just been getting worse. I am relieved that I won't have to go in on the weekend. I hope I can hold out 'til Monday, I am doing treatments about every two hours to stay comfortable. I am to just give up on carrying a child myself. I do want to live as long as I can with my child. I just know that it would be so much cheaper to carry the baby myself. My body simply cannot handle a pregnancy. I read so many stories of cf mommies ending up on vents and dying soon after the babies are born. I want to live as long as I can with my husband, so if that means I will never have a child then so be it. I just have to let it go that I can carry a child. My body hangs on for a few healthy months then I am right back sick again, this is gonna quadruple with pregnancy. If I can't do surrogacy then I will not be having a baby. We are still working with the foster to adopt agency and who knows maybe something will work out there. As for IVF, it won't be happening....so maybe someday SI we will be seeing you.

Thoughts and Prayers

2009-02-03T17:11:00.000-08:00

Please everyone pray tonight for a fellow cfer and chat friend Jenn from cf.com. She is fighting a battle for her life right now, and she needs everyone's prayers. Also pray for her family who are there with her.

Another Cycle, Another Winter Month...

2009-02-03T11:46:00.000-08:00

I simply hate winter. I stay so sick and congested. I have been having an awful time breathing, I started prednisone and levaquin last week and I am having another episode. It started yesterday when I took my mom to the clinic and a lady's perfume set me off. Couldn't quit coughing so I went out and waited in the Blazer. Started recovering alittle by about 3pm. I got home last night and Brett had decided he would vacuum everything in the camper and stirred dust up and I feel like I am going to croak today. The mud is so bad right now from all the construction around the house and the camper is so little you just can't keep it clean. The vacuum does nothing but stirs it into the air. I think I may die if I don't get out of that camper soon. It has really taken a toll on me in the last few months. The prednisone made me feel so much better the first 2 or 3 days but now I seem back to the same state if not worse. It is asthma symptoms because I do get some relief when I leave the situation that irritates me. Days like these I wonder what am I thinking trying to get pregnant.

Now onto that subject. I have an acupuncture appointment for the full fertility workup that I couldn't get last time. I go Thursday. I am taking Femara this cycle and I can't tell if I am having any bad side effects from it, as I feel so crappy to begin with. This is why my docs wanted me to get pregnant and be pregnant during summer months. Oh well, life doesn't always work as we would like to plan.

Prayers going out to G-man, I have been thinking of him alot and hope he is progressing well. Prayers to the family of the donor also.

Starting The Trim on Amani's Girl Baby Blanket

2009-01-27T06:45:00.000-08:00

Wow, this one really took along time. It is huge!! It will definitely cover the crib. It would look really pretty draped over the side of a crib. It is 179 stitches long and 76 rows wide. Which probably tells you nothing, but I will be posting pictures soon. I will probably have it finished by next week.

I am hurting so bad today. With the late visit of Aunt Flow and this horrible cramping I am wondering if it is the hormones or maybe the egg tried to stick but couldn't or something. I am having extra painful cramps this month. Will be starting Femara this month, and see if that works. If not I am gonna maybe try injections and IUI. If the doc will go for that. He doesn't want to do trigger shots because he says that it is better to let your body release the eggs when they are mature, and my hubby has "super sperm", the docs words, so he isn't worried about the sperm not surviving until the egg releases. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Another Failure!!

2009-01-26T13:28:00.000-08:00

For all of you that is keeping up and waiting for updates, it didn't work....again. I just don't have any emotion anymore, I think I have nothing but anxiety. I just feel numb.

Acupuncture Yesterday

2009-01-23T10:20:00.000-08:00

It went well. I was alittle nervous but had nothing to be nervous about. My acupuncturist checked the pulse on my left hand middle finger and I didn't really understand but mentioned something about pregnancy. Has anyone had any experience with this. I guess I will find out soon as my two weeks are up....She was training someone so I was just catching little things here and there. She didn't do anything on my belly, she said she would start that next month if I get my period before I do the next iui. So here's to hoping I had the pulse of pregnancy....

Fertility Acupuncture~Testimonial

2009-01-21T13:35:00.000-08:00

Guess I am going to have an open mind and be the guinea pig. Even for people doing surrogacy this could help produce better quality eggs, or so that is what my research so far as shown. I am gonna give it a shot and we will see.

Acupuncture Appointment

2009-01-20T21:13:00.000-08:00

I have an appointment with an acupuncturist that has 26 years experience and trained in China. She has her primary office in Ohio, but travels to West Virginia 4 times a month. So Julie I am gonna give it a shot. She seemed very knowledgeable over the phone and I see her Thursday for my first infertility appointment.

Newest Addition

2009-01-19T17:15:00.000-08:00

If anyone would like to order one of these gorgeous hats let me know. I am trying to start on an online store with lots of items...would anyone be interested in these beanies for your baby girls?

Onesies for People Having Babies In India

2009-01-19T05:39:00.000-08:00

I spoke with the docs and they thought these were a cool idea. I have just calculated the price, for getting the onesies and having them printed. They would be $14.95 each. Shoot me an email if you are interested. I can also have whatever you want custom printed.

My Rookie

2009-01-17T13:49:00.000-08:00

I took some action shots at Justin's game the other day and made him his very first Rookie card...

My Step-Son

2009-01-17T08:37:00.000-08:00

Enjoying his Darth Vader Light Saber that he has been asking for since he was 8 years old. We decided he had matured enough to get it for him for Christmas. They are expensive and are really collector items. He loves it. I took a picture of him outside in the dark and he thought it was the coolest thing ever! I love doing little things for him that make him so happy.

Look At This Ice Now

2009-01-16T09:13:00.000-08:00

The grass is becoming its own entity....

So Cold!

2009-01-15T07:38:00.001-08:00

The weather is freezing here. Our pond is frozen over, and where the water drips onto the blades of grass it has frozen all the way around it....I thought it looks pretty cool.

Queen Size Afgan~Rose Trelis

2009-01-13T15:35:00.000-08:00

This is a queen sized afghan my mother crocheted to help me raise some money. She said she wants $200.00. Let me know if you want it by shooting me an email...brumfieldx3@yahoo.com.

Baby Blankets

2009-01-13T07:58:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture of one of the baby blankets I have done in the past and I am in the process of making for Megan. I hope she likes it. This will take me at least a week as it is very detailed. If anyone else would like to have one, my email is brumfieldx3@yahoo.com.

Well It's Done

2009-01-10T12:31:00.000-08:00

We just got home from the doc's office. I had two nice follicles as usual. We did the IUI the day after my LH surge, so maybe it has a better chance this time. We are gonna try Femara next month if this doesn't work. I have had several ladies tell me that Femara worked for them so why not give it a shot. Now the tww! Remember to shoot me an email if you are interested in a scarf or baby blanket. I have a blanket order now, for two blankets, so I will put pics up as soon as I get them finished.

Baby Blankets

2009-01-09T20:15:00.001-08:00

I can also crochet baby blankets for anyone interested. Just shoot me an email. brumfieldx3@yahoo.com.

Here We Go Again!

2009-01-09T16:45:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the day. I am scheduled to have my IUI at 10:45am. We have to be at the lab at 9:45am. Another dreaded tww! There is always a chance that it will work, so gotta stay positive. I am buying a fresh pineapple tomorrow and gonna cut it into 5 pieces and eat one each day, as instructed by a friend trying to help with the chances of success. Thanks Julie. I hope it works...

I am still taking scarf orders so if anyone is interested let me know!! I am working with a beautiful soft yarn right now, I think she is gonna love it. More pictures coming soon.

Another Scarf Order!

2009-01-07T07:25:00.000-08:00

I received another order last night for a red scarf, so I am getting busy. I also am making the scarf as a thank you gift for my first donater. I will post the pics of the new ones when they are done. Thanks for the orders. I also have an idea for a dressier scarf with Roses on it, I thought it would be a good one for us CFers. I will post a pic of it when it is done also.

My First Not Me Monday!

2009-01-05T06:22:00.000-08:00

This is my first so gonna make it a good one. I do not have CF and I am gonna live to be the oldest person in the world at the ripe old age of 130. I don't beg for money or to get people to buy things they probably really don't want or need to help me have a baby. I don't really want children and will never want them. I have never let my step son go to the movies with me and see inappopriate content because I didn't check out the movie content before hand. I have not been married 3 times and will never get married to the most wonderful man in the world.

Check Out The Latest

2009-01-04T20:39:00.000-08:00

I just added the latest addition to the slideshow to the right. This is Christy's scarf. Fuschia and blues, I hope she likes it....Who's next?

Scarves To Make A Baby

2009-01-03T06:36:00.000-08:00

I have just posted a slideshow of a scarf I made last year as a gift. I can make any weight, thickness, short or long, I can even make the hairy kind, if anyone knows what I am talking about. One like this one in the slide show, I have to have $35.00 for, it is very thick and warm, it is tightly crocheted and is about 6 ft long, I will have to measure it to be sure. These are really nice in a looser stitch and lighter weight about half as wide, to be warn in early spring and fall with a t shirt or whatever just for some added warmth. Email me with order and specs and I will get the scarves rollin'. Brumfieldx3@yahoo.com. Thanks girls, and remember, you are doing this so maybe someday I can buy a scarf or two for kids of my own. I guess we can just set payment up for making a contribution to the ivf fund and go from there. The lady who was the first to donate please email me your info, I would like to make you a scarf as a thankyou gift.

Mixed Emotions

2009-01-03T05:21:00.000-08:00

I am so happy to be here another year with my husband. I am grateful for that. I am grateful that my health is as good as it is, it could be worse, alot worse. I am grateful to be building my beautiful new house that seems will never get finished. I am grateful for my beautiful yorkie named Cory, if ever I am sad he curls up to me and comforts me, he is my "hairy" baby. He always greets me with so much love and happiness, it always makes me happy to see him. Yet I am so sad. Sad that I am going to have to face that I am not going to have a baby in my life. One of my own. I have always clung to hope, hanging on to it for dear life. Hope has kept me going, kept me sane. I always would think you have lots of time, still time, you're young. Now reality is setting in. I am 35 years old, with a terminal illness, alot of people I know have not been as lucky as I and have already passed away. I don't want to die and I don't want to live without having my baby. I have always thought it will happen this time, and every month goes by and nothing. I took out loans and charged up credit cards to attempt surrogacy only to have my money taken by people who don't know what they are doing. I had so much riding on my surrogacy attempt, I just knew this is it, finally I am going to be a mommy. Just for more heartache and letdown. I find what I went thru at Rotunda was cruel and unusual punishment. That is a whole other story. Now I face trying to raise what seems an impossible amount of money, although a beautiful soul donated to me $10. I am starting on the scarves and am working on the cookbook. My mom wants to start selling dinners again but that is so hard and I really can't say it is worth it in the end. We took out the loans for the surrogacy and now can't get a loan to finish our house. They said it really didn't cause us not to be able to get the loan for the house but it hurt us alot. We maxed one of our credit cards out and took out another pretty large loan to pay for everything, so it is nearly impossible to get a loan to complete the house. I sucks so bad because it is so close, it looks complete from the outside, but it is just boards inside. Some plumbing, some wiring....not livable. I hope this year is a better year, I am going to do everything in my power to make it better, for time is ticking away. How much time, who knows, how do any of us know, but as for us with CF time and future hangs over our heads like and anvel waiting to drop. I feel like I need to hurry hurry hurry, or time is going to run out.

Here We Go Again

2008-12-31T15:39:00.000-08:00

Well another round of IUI is the decision. I started my 50mg of clomid today. I responded well on 50mg so we are keeping it at that. Two nice follicles so no need to up it. I am actively working on my cookbook and am also gonna sale scarfs hand crocheted if anyone is interested. I have got to get to fundraising if I am gonna make the deadline of Mid Summer for my IVF. Happy New Year everyone!!

The Wait Is Over

2008-12-28T10:29:00.000-08:00

I finally started. No pregnancy this time either. It is disappointing but expected. I never get my hopes too high anymore. I don't know what we will do from here, I simply have no money for IVF. I guess I will finish the cookbook everyone keeps telling me I should do, (I actually started it, but was hoping that it actually worked this time), then maybe by midsummer I will be able to try IVF. Luckily my doc lets me pay payments on the IUI's which is great, so maybe I will try one more, if he will, this month. He really wants to do IVF in February, but it just isn't possible at this point. At least I didn't get the bad news on Christmas.

Update!!

2008-12-28T06:35:00.000-08:00

Well I did the EPT yesterday afternoon and it was a BFN. Still no signs of AF yet. Don't know if the clomid is causing a late cycle this time, as it never has before, or maybe the cheap $ store test I bought wasn't very accurate. Time will tell. I am going to wait a few more days and if still no AF, will test again, this time with a better test I think. I took the test and there is a clear lens across the resutlt area and it fogged up so it took a long time before I could really see the results, but not even a faint line....who knows...here's to a few more days of torture...Cheers!

Merry Christmas!!

2008-12-25T06:56:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone is having a great Christmas. We are headed to town today, gonna spend the night tonight at the Holiday Inn. My Christmas present. I need a break from the camper! No visit from AF yet, haven't the heart to take a test, I want to enjoy the holiday as much as I can, and who knows maybe there is good news awaiting us! I hope everyone gets what they want for Christmas!

Waffle Sundays

2008-12-20T16:51:00.000-08:00

It is tradition in our house to have stuffed waffles on Sundays. If anyone is interested I can give you the recipe, my hubby loves them.

Clinic Visit Yesterday

2008-12-20T05:37:00.000-08:00

My PFT's are not significantly improved. I had 2 that were still 44% and one that was 47%. I am colonized with a new PA that is resistant to all oral meds, so IV's if I become symptomatic. I am starting to wish I had waited 'til after Christmas to try the IUI, it is going to be so dissappointing if it didn't work. I don't feel any different so I have a feeling no luck this time. My mom went with me to the clinic yesterday and we talked about the fund raisers we are going to start soon. We have got to get on the ball to raise even close to enough money by mid summer. The docs and I really wanted to do it in February so I would be pregnant during the warm months, but it just isn't going to happen. There is no way we can do enough fundraisers to raise that much in a month's time. We usaually invest $400 and make $400, and we have people that volunteer to deliver the dinners and help box them up to be delivered. We rent the local community center kitchen to prepare everything. We have a few people walk in also. I make some really great quilts and some other things I am thinking about doing a contest on here with....what do you guys think? Ideas? What about a purse? Maybe that would do better...Any suggestions would really be appreciated. I am headed to CPR and First Aid training, lol, for my adoption/foster care stuff, then to a Marshall basketball game tonight....WE ARE MARSHALL!!! My husband runs his dad's wrecker business and helped an old man with his vehicle, his daughter who works in the Marshall athletic department found out and sent him Marshall tickets for about 20 games, football and basketball. I guess good deeds are rewarded!! If you haven't seen the movie WE ARE MARSHALL, go rent it, we are very proud to be a part of that legacy. I took some classes thru Marshall, but my husband is Alumni.

CF Clinic Today

2008-12-19T06:52:00.000-08:00

Going for my Cf Clinic appointment today. I hope that my FEV1 is better. Going to do alittle Christmas shopping for my step-son today. We aren't spending much this year, we are just buying him some gifts because we have the house we are trying to get into, and we are trying to save for IVF, which we aren't doing well. It is a very hard time, trying to get into the house, we can't get a loan, although we got alittle hope yesterday from Wells Fargo, we will know in about a week. Seems we made the mistake of actually trying to build our house without owing on it. The banks say we should have borrowed the money then paid what we had in cash off on the loan. The economy is so bad right now. I have been trying not to be depressed during the holidays because I have so much to be greatful for, but when you sit outside of your new house in a camper and can't spend your Christmas in it, it is very hard not to get down. Also all the let down this year of no pregnancy, it is really tough.

I Need Advice From You!

2008-12-15T06:37:00.000-08:00

I am going to start doing fundraisers again, any suggestion from the big old world of bloggers? My mother and I do dinners and sale them in our local community which does fair, we usually make about $400.00 per dinner, which is a ton of work, but we don't mind. We have also had bake sales at local fairs. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks everyone!

IUI Finished

2008-12-11T15:34:00.001-08:00

My doc had wonderful news. My ovarian reserve is above average for my age and he fully expects good results in February IF we have to do IVF. Hopefully this will work and we won't have to worry about February. I was so devistated when the docs in India told me I would have to use donor eggs. My doc says it seems like it was a scam to him. I know they are not very professional. I feel so blessed to be able to try this on my own, me getting a chance to carry my own baby is such great news.

Brett & Rebecca Brumfield

Today Is The Day!

2008-12-11T06:37:00.000-08:00

Just peed on the stick, it was positive this morning. I go in today at 12:30pm for my IUI. I am excited, but don't want to get my hopes up too much, now the sucky ttw. At least it is another chance of having a baby...and the fact that I can try and carry it myself is fantastic news. I am very happy today.

Surrogate Contract Arrived Today!

2008-12-08T10:00:00.001-08:00

We had our embryo transfer September 24th, 2008, we only now finally received our surrogate contract from Rotunda. Guess I would be relieved had the transfer worked. At least we know there was actually a surrogate and that part wasn't fraudulent, which is what we were suspecting. Rotunda needs to step up a bit and get it together. I simply didn't like the way they do business. On the other side of things, I have heard alot of success stories with them, so I guess it just comes down to one's individual comfort level.

IUI This Month!

2008-12-04T07:23:00.000-08:00

I started my clomid and plan to have an IUI around the 14th or so. It would be a wonderful Christmas present. I hope I have good results, but don't we all, hope doesn't make it be. My doc put me on 50mg, that is a high dose for me, I had 3 eggs from 25mg when I tried this before. He wants me to have a good chance, since we may be doing IVF in February. Wish us luck, we are excited....alittle. It is hard to be too excited or to think it will really work, when you have been disappointed so many times. This will be the fourth medicated IUI and we tried 2 without meds. With Cystic Fibrosis, your cervical mucous is hostile so the sperm can't get to the eggs. My mom keeps telling me that it takes around six months for a normal fertile couple to conceive, so to try at least six times. Who knows, maybe this will be the time...it can happen. Wish me luck and say a prayer for us.

I HATE WINTER!

2008-12-02T11:31:00.000-08:00

Sick again. I have a terrible sore throat that seems to be going into my chest. I am trying to give it time to pass, but I just don't think it is going to. It feels like strep throat. I never get sick, until winter. Blah, I'm ready for Spring. I would like to say RIP to Robyn. We just never know when it is our time to go. No one, not even people without CF. Although I have never met Robyn she and her family have been in my thoughts. Breathe easy Robyn, we will meet someday.

Thankful

2008-11-27T09:44:00.000-08:00

Today is a day to be thankful for all the we have in our lives. Today is my Birthday, so I have to be thankful for another year with my family and friends. I can remember when I was diagnosed I never dreamed I would live to be 35, but here I am living and breathing and dreaming of my future. I am so thankful for all that god has given me, and all that he see fit not to. With all that is going on I have to wonder about that song, how does it go, "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers...just because he don't answer doesn't mean he don't care". "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers". I thank god for all the diversity and hardship in my life because it has made me the person I am today. It has made me more caring and understanding. More thankful for every breath I take, more thankful for those who love me and help me through my hard times. I hope you all have a blessed day and please say a prayer for the people of India, many have been lost and some are still being held captive, please remember them today in your festivities.