Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Had the 4D Ultrasound Today

We were very excited to discover the gender of our baby today and watch her wave and stretch and kick, instead we found a little girl with no heartbeat. The baby stopped growth somewhere between 12-14 weeks. We are devastated. I type this through my tears. I am so very heart broken and sad and feel so bad that I was not there by my surrogates side. We were watching over the computer. All I can say at this point is I love her very much, I love my little girl and we have to figure out what we do next. I am waiting to hear back from her about what the doctor says. I am just so beyond sad right now.

She has already said we will try again as soon as we can. I love her so much!

20 comments:

Jenny Livingston said...

Out of the blue, I found myself thinking about you this morning. I was so excited to see your post, but that excitement soon turned to heartache.
Although we don't know eachother, my heart cries for you. Words cannot heal the pain you are feeling right now, but I still want to say that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
May God bless you, your husband, your daughter, and your beatiful surrogate who continues to give so much of herself to make your family whole.
Someday it WILL happen for you.

Bridget said...

Rebecca, I am so sorry to be reading this. This journey is so hard, and I know its overwhelming at times. Please know I am praying for you, your hubby and your surro-mom right now. Words cannot express the pain of losing a child. If you need anything at all, feel free to email or call I will send my # to you privately.

Johnny and Darren said...

Oh gosh your post has made me so sad. I was excited reading the first few lines and then had to back track and re-read.

I am terribly sorry for you both and your surrogate. This is terribly sad news. You are in our thoughts & prayers

jojo said...

Oh my gosh, Bec. I'm so so so sorry for your loss. I don't know what to say.

Sometimes life is just so unfair. Yo've been through your fair share of crap. Oh gosh, I'm just so sorry.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

x

Amani said...

I am so very very VERY sad and sorry. Oh you poor darling. Please know your readers love you, and are with you. If you need anything you call out.

This is not the end of the road, you will try again and be successful.

Be gentle with each other and take your time to grieve and heal.

Much love

xxx

Megan said...

Ohmygosh. I just can't even imagine your heartbreak right now. I'm sosoSO sorry!!! (((HUGS)))

katie said...

wow I was so excited when i saw the title of this post and now I am in tears!
I am so sorry to hear this and it breaks my heart!

Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband, and the surrogate as I know this must be so hard on her as well.

Jackie said...

I am at a loss for words....I am so terribly sorry and pray for strength for the three of you.

Many of us have been in your shoes and know the pain you are feeling right now.

xxxxx

Lisapon said...

I am so, so sorry to hear your news. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

{{hugs}}

Jess said...

I'm so very sorry to read this too. My heart just breaks for you. I wish I knew what to say, we're all thinking of you..I'm so sorry.

Linda said...

I.m so very very sorry. I know how much it hurts, we.ve been through the same. Sending you lots of love and thoughts.

Next time it's your turn!

Hugs from Linda

Kerrie and Mark said...

Oh this is horrible news. I am so sorry. You have a lovely surro and amazing husband who you can grieve with and find a way to regroup.

Tigerlilycat said...

I am also incredibly sad to read this update as I've been thinking of you too lately. You have a wonderful husband and surrogate, and together you will achieve your dream. Big hugs to all.

emma said...

Rebecca,
I am shocked and increadibly sorry for your loss. Your path to having a baby has been so hard. I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain. I am thinking of you and praying you will regroup and try again. You deserve so much to be a mom.

matt and christy said...

I am not sure how i came across your blog but have been following you for awhile. i feel your pain and am so so so sorry for your loss. i too am going through the same thing with a surrogate. i hope you find peace soon and you begin to heal.

Wannabemom-Wannabedad said...

Rebecca - I just wanted to tell you again how sorry we are for your loss. You, your family, your little angel and your GS are in our thoughts and prayers.

Brandy said...

I am incredibly sorry to hear about your loss. I will send prayers up for you, your husband, your little girl and your surrogate carrier.

Stephanie said...

I just stumbled upon your post. Even though you don't know me, we have traveled down the same long and dark journey called infertility. Keep focused on the small light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes it seems like hope isn't there but the desires of your heart can't be stopped. Keep the hope in your heart.

Stephanie said...

I am so sorry! I have been thinking of you and came to check in. You will be in my prayers.

Kristen said...

I haven't checked your blog in a while and am so devastated to read this. I am so, so sorry, Rebecca. Lots of thoughts and prayers coming your way. (((hugs)))

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