Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Just Walking In Zombie Land Taking It One Day At A Time!




As I sit here typing this and being so happy for all those I have met over the past year on our journeys for parenthood, I can't help but feel sorry for myself and the others I have been reading tonight that it still hasn't worked for. I just really don't understand why things work the way they do in this world and I probably never will. All I can do is try all I have to make it happen until there is no life left in me to try. If my child were here, would I not do the same? Do whatever ever it takes to give it whatever it needs. I am starting my etsy website but I must get a few more things made before I open it. I am also interviewing with a company on the 30th about working from home with only very infrequent office visits to protect me from all the bad buggies. My hubby is also pursuing a new career, so things are looking promising. Our last few nights at home, (with no plumbing, no walls, no doors, ect.), has been the best nights in months. It is like plugging a battery in to be recharged. Our hearts are being recharged with hope and happiness. I am on my 4th and hopefully last week on IV Vancomycin. It makes me very tired. The Merem doesn't bother me as bad it doesn't seem. I hope that tonight as all my friends and family, and all the ones who aren't yet are laying their heads down happy and content, recharged and ready for many more tomorrows.....good night everyone.

4 comments:

Amani said...

I get you Becky.

You know a bit of our story and I know a bit of yours.

The wait is incredibly horrible.

We were meant to get results on Tuesday night, then today, but no results. And we have had to get a lawyer to deal with financial and administrative issues with the clinic I and others have so vehemently supported. Why????


Ugh..xxx

Christy said...

How are you feeling girl? I haven't heard from you in awhile.

RunSickboyRun.com said...

Just stopped by your blog through a link of another CF blogger...I have read through some of your posts and am just wondering where you are in the process? How are you feeling? I see you haven't blogged for a while, I hope everything is ok...

Ronnie

Rebecca said...

I am feeling better everyone, thanks for asking. I am still nowhere with the baby situation. I am in the process of training to do foster care. They have a foster/adopt program and I will only be takin newborns that they think may be put up for adoption. I am working to get the house ready for our homestudy. I want so bad to have a baby myself and try to talk myself back into it, but I am so afraid and can't afford IVF anyway. So I guess whatever is meant to be will be. I haven't been posting lately because all of this is stressing me out so much. I hate letting CF win, and that is what this feels like. All my online friends are having their babies and I still am barren. It just sucks!!

I Would Die For That